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JUST A SERIES OF RANDOM REVIEWS AND THOUGHTS BY A NORMAL (OK, SEVERELY ABNORMAL) UNEMPLOYED COLLEGE STUDENT.

Friday, August 9, 2013

I Hate Fast Lane Passes

     So at Cedar Point they have a thing called Fast Lane where you pay for a pass that costs more than the tickets to Cedar Point. They let you cut in line in front of just about everyone that has been waiting in line for sometimes over an hour so that your rich ass can feel more important than the poor bastards that were only able to afford a regular ticket. It's not only Cedar Point that does this, I'm pretty sure every amusement park does it, at least every one I've been to does it. I'm not as angry about it now but when I was waiting in line for over an hour to ride the Millennium Force and I see these people with their passes getting in line ahead of just about everyone I was beyond pissed. I found it funny that cutting in line will get you kicked out of the park with no refund, but as long as you bribe the park management you can do it whenever you want. It made me think of a couple small plans that would require me to win the lottery or some other equally lucky event to happen in my life.


PLAN 1:
     Take a lot of money and find the longest line at the amusement park. Proceed to pay every single person in line a set amount of money to cut in front of them. Then see what park management has to say about that, after all if I'm the one getting cut in front of by people who pay, shouldn't I be getting some money? An option for the plan would be to pay the people that work there who let the Fast Lane people through, to not let people with Fast Lane passes through.

PLAN 2:
     Take a lot of money and buy a lot of Fast Lane passes and give them all away to anyone that doesn't have one. Simple, but is sure to cause some chaos and anger the park management, though not as much since they are getting their money for the passes which is why I'd prefer Plan 1.

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